JOKE #1

Listening to the Voice From Above
A man is walking along a deserted beach when suddenly he hears a deep voice from Above.

"DIG!" it says.
He looks around, but there's nobody there. I must be imagining this, he thinks. Then he hears the voice again:
"I SAID, DIG!"
So he starts digging with his bare hands, pushing away the sand. A short way down he uncovers a small chest with a rusty lock.
"OPEN IT," commands the deep voice.
OK, the man thinks, Ill open the thing. He finds a rock with which to destroy the lock, and when the chest is finally opened, he sees a gleaming pile of gold coins.
"TAKE THEM TO THE CASINO," the deep voice says.
Well, says the man to himself, the casino is just ten minutes walk away, why not? He changes all the gold into a huge pile of roulette tokens and goes to one of the tables, where the players gaze at him with disbelief. Now he hears the deep voice saying:
"27, PUT IT ALL ON 27."
He takes his heavy pile of tokens and drops it at the 27. The table groans under the weight. You can hear a pin drop as the croupier throws the ball. The ball stays at the 26.
The deep voice says: "S***!"

__________________
texas holdem
blackjack card counting

    

Too bad.:lol: This is great.

lol here's more:

A woman is losing steadily at the roulette tables in Vegas. All she has left is $50. Totally frustrated, she shouts out:

"What lousy luck! What in the world am I going to do now?"
A man standing next to her suggests, "Well, maybe you should play your age?"
She rushes off to the nearest table. A few seconds later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the table. Could she have won? He pushes his way through the crowd to see the woman lying limp on the floor, with the roulette dealer kneeling over her.
The man is shocked, "What happened?" he asks, "Is she OK?"
The dealer replies, "I dont know. She put all her money on 29, and 36 came up. Then she just fainted!"

__________________
texas holdem
blackjack card counting

Another one, thanks for the great joke.:lol:

Here's another joke.

JOKE#3

Las Vegas was a bummer for Fred. He had lost all his money and even had to borrow a dime from another gambler just to use the men's room. Luckily he didn't need it, because somebody had left the stall door open.

When he came out, he decided to throw the last dime into a slot machine. What do you know - he hit the jackpot! Fred took his winnings and went to the blackjack table and turned his small winnings into ten million dollars. Now rich beyond imagination, Fred had to tell everyone his amazing story. He went on the lecture circuit in city after city, telling audiences that he was eternally grateful to his benefactor, and if he ever found the man he would share his fortune with him.

After months of lectures, a man in the audience jumped up and said, "I'm that man. I was the one who gave you the dime."
"Nah, you're not the one I'm looking for", said Fred. "I'm looking for the guy who left the toilet door open!"

__________________
texas holdem
blackjack card counting

Thanks for sharing another joke, this really makes me laugh.

hahahaha! what a wasted!

You can also share your jokes here.

JOKE#4

A man walking along the beach found a bottle. When he rubbed it, lo and behold, a genie appeared. "I will grant you three wishes," announced the genie. "But there is one condition. I am a lawyer's genie. That means that for every wish you make, every lawyer in the world gets the wish as well - only double." The man thought about this for a while. "For my first wish, I would like ten million dollars," he announced. Instantly the genie gave him a Swiss bank account number and assured the man that $10,000,000 had been deposited. "But every lawyer in the world has just received $20,000,000," the genie said. "I've always wanted a Ferrari," the man said. "That's my second wish." Instantly a Ferrari appeared. "But every lawyer in the world has just received two Ferraris," the genie said. "And what is your last wish?" "Well," said the man, "I've always wanted to donate a kidney for transplant."

__________________
texas holdem
blackjack card counting

Good jocks. Ha ha ha ha nice thread.

I miss this thread, those great jokes.